Flyaway Mind

I often look down through the glasspane of the restroom at my office. After a tiring time infront of the monitor, it is a comfort to see the bright sunny view outside. It is not by any means a pleasing view, with an eerie looking cemetery, an empty plot dumped with garbage and monotonous array of rectangular buildings.




On a particular frustrating day at work, as I entered the restroom with a furrowed brow, just chanced to look outside and behold, there is a perfect beautiful rainbow arched out wide across the expanse of the sky. I have seen rainbows countless times. But never have I been happy to see one since my chidhood. The sight made me happy. Maybe the frustration and stress of that day made me appreciate the simple pleasure of seeing a rainbow. It gave a hope to my otherwise hopeless day.

And today morning the life outside that window was all different. As I looked down, I could see a mob gathered
inside the cemetery. Obviously someone had died.. Few men were digging the earth to bury the corpse. I could see wailing women, garlands of flowers, the body wrapped in a white cloth and cows grazing inside the cemetery. It caught me by surprise since I had least expected to see such a view outside. In the afternoon I was expecting to see an abandoned cemetery again with an added tombstone. And what I saw shook me. There was a man lying over the grave and weeping uncontrollably. He was all alone and seemed unpacifiable.. There was nobody around to share his grief, nobody to support or comfort him.. He was a lone man. He looked like daily wager in shabby clothes and shaved head... Maybe it was his loving wife who died ..or maybe it was his beloved child.. or maybe his very own parent..An immense loss for him.. I stood there speculating for a few minutes and then moved on...

The view outside the window, I guess, will keep changing. And I on the other-side of the window has nothing much to do, but watch.

Last Sunday was a lazy Sunday. I slept till around 11’0 clock, then got up and fixed myself a quick brunch of upma & tea. The sky was overcast and it was a perfect day to snooze off. I was lying on the bed, propped up against the pillows, trying to read the book “Snow” by Orhan Pamuk , when it started raining heavily. I could hear the faint thud thud against the glass windows.

My roomie was screaming from balcony at the top of her lungs. I rushed out thinking that her clothes might be outside on the lane to dry… ‘Hailstones’, she screamed on seeing me. The ice cubes on her outstretched palm were already melting. I could hardly believe this. It was actually raining hailstones in Bangalore!!! I collected a few hailstones from the balcony and tried catching a few as it pelted down… Many people in our seven storied apartment had come out to their balconies to watch. The kids were excitedly scampering around. And on the ground floor, few people were out drenching in the rain and collecting hailstones in a bucket.

My room mate usually stocks up eatables for the rainy days. She loves preparing hot soup or making banana fritters when it rains.. So we go out to the balcony, sit on the steps, watch the rain and sip the hot soup or munch the fritters. I remember the first time when we bought Knorr instant soup mix. It almost ran out of it’s expiry date because it was summer and it didn’t rain for a long time in Bangalore.

Boca Grande is the newly opened restaurant near my house. Boca Grande is a Spanish word meaning “big mouth”. And I had won their puzzle contest which earned me free-dinner-for-two. I was planning to go along with my friend for a lavish dinner on Friday. But severe hunger pangs propelled us to hit the place on Tuesday itself. The handsome owner welcomed us, showed us around the place & told us that as the sole winner, we are entitled to eat to our hearts content.. kewllll..For once, I could devour all the delicacies without having to worry about the ultimate BILL. We scanned through the menu card and started off right from starters. Smart as we are, we ordered the highest priced items in each category and items referred as ‘BC special’.. heheee ;) Food was yummy but the problem was with our appetite. By the time we had the starters and cake-shake, we were almost stomach full. Half way through our main course we felt we couldn’t hog any more. We decided to take a break, chat a while and then try to finish it off. But it was of no avail.. Thus with a broken heart, we left many of those special items untouched :( And I was disappointed that I couldn’t have those tempting mouth melting desserts. Nevertheless, we packed off scoops of Belgium chocolate ice cream with lotsa nutties for my roomie.


I like dancing away to glory. That is if I am dancing to my own tunes and dancing to my own specially copyrighted dance moves. I joined free style dance classes this week. Yesterday was my first day. Initially I was enjoying every bit of it. The instructor was teaching us random steps and we were following it. Later it turned to aerobics and finally to Bollywood dance. The music was “soni de nakhre sone lagade”. I started imagining myself as Govinda and suddenly I couldn’t dance anymore ;) I found it difficult to get along with the ‘continuation of steps’. Hope it gets better in the coming classes. And to add to the insult, two girls in my class are dancing even better than the instructor. They need to see the steps only once and they can dance like some divas. Well, yours truly is feeling really J :)

For last 1 week I felt like being orphaned. Here is the turn of events that turned me into an abandoned soul.

A week back, I accompanied my friend for his wedding shopping to buy blazers & suits. Two gals accompanying a guy for shopping can turn catastrophic, especially when the gals in question are ‘shopping crazy’ ones, who vanishes when ‘ladies dress section’ is in vicinity. But since this was wedding shopping, we refrained ourselves with much difficulty :-)

The mega shopping started in Marathahalli brand shops . His specification of blazer was a gray one which looks ‘informal’, ‘unique’ & ‘different’. Since we gals didn’t consider ‘gray’ as a colour even worth mentioning, we brainwashed him to go for a cream coloured suit. Now, none of the specifications ‘unique’ & ‘different’ were met in any of the brand giants viz Allen Solly, Van Heusen, Giovanni etc etc. Finally decided to select the engagement shirt first.In between his fiancee called up. Both of them are my friends since college days.

She: Remember, I am wearing orange sari with yellow border. So his shirt should match with
that
Me: Ok done. How about a bright fluorescent orange shirt then? Heheee....
She: @#$*#@
She: And don’t select any full sleeved shirts. It doesn't suit him.
Me: Ok..i will try to convince him…

As soon as the ‘order from higher authority’ was conveyed to him, he dismissed it as absurd. So we did buy a full sleeved shirt. God save us!!!!

After lunch we proceeded to Bangalore Central. As far as I was concerned, all suits looked alike. They were either black/gray/blue/cream or 2buttoned/3buttoned. After hours of searching, we zeroed in on an ethnic looking smart suit. By this time we gals were really worn out. To rejuvenate our poor tired souls, we decided to go on a shopping spree of our own to ‘ladies section’, while he was left gaping. After having revived ourselves, we decided to search in main Commercial Street too, inorder to widen his options. We went to some 5-6 shops in vain. By this time, we were dead tired & couldn't even take another step ahead. The climax of the story happened when he called up his parents to tell about the ethnic looking informal blazer he has finalized upon. From the other end he got a lecture on ‘proper mallu Christian weddings’ and how you should only wear simple formal suit on the occasion. So that was the end of it. We argued with him but he meekly replied , "I chose the bride on my own; I chose the wedding card on my own; at least I should leave this to my parents.” Thus the shopping saga came to an end.

It was much later while I was returning that I discovered I had misplaced my cell phone. I had left it somewhere while shopping!!!!!!!!!!! Called up to my cell immediately , but it was switched off. That was the anticlimax. I felt sick , more because I was so careless. Hmmm..i was proving myself to be all the adjectives that my Amma sometimes lovingly :-) calls me – ‘careless’ ‘irresponsible’ ‘clumsy’ :-) To get over the feelings of blue, I slept the whole of next day.Felt much better after that. For next one week,I was out of contact with the world and felt orphaned. Finally I got my mother to send me my old Nokia 1100 . So finally no longer am I abandoned :-)

January has whizzed past. This has been a month of partying - party at office, party at hostel, and one back home at our residential association..

Now the New Year party at office was a helluva one. Though the invitation revealed nothing explicitly, it soon became an open secret that it was a pub party. It was in Regalis- Cloud 9 at Lavalle Road. Now I always had this curiosity to know what really brews inside a pub. The bouncer thugs guarding the pub & the blaring music have always intensified my curiosity. "Curiosity kills the cat". But, I was not that curious a cat to waste some bucks on such stuffs and quench my curiosity. But this pub was exclusively reserved for our office and hence it turned out to be a pretty decent party with the managers hovering over us (!!). So I guess, I missed the real yo-man-yo dudes & dudettes:) in action . *** sigh*** So, instead ended up seeing the same monotonous faces of my colleagues **sigh** (incase anybody of you are reading, dont kill me..kidding)

The initial feelings on entering the pub were that of partial blindness & deafness imparted by the dazzling light & ear-splitting music. As soon as my sensories regained their functionality, I joined the gang. All around were a bevy of glasses. Now somebody informed me that soft drinks are available.Ok... So after all, I get something to drink. And I really dont know what got into me, when I went and asked the bartender "Can I have juice?" The horrified look on his face said "where the hell did you drop in from?". The moment I really wished the earth would open up and swallow me!!!! Heheee..So I ended up drinking pesticide (sprite), something which I never used to drink these days.

For some time, just stood there drinking pesticide sprite & watching the colleagues on dance floor. This soon proving to be boring. I felt like another brick in the wall. That is when I and a few pals decided to hit the dance floor. Soon we were having a whale of a time. Then out of blue, somebody in an energetic dance move, crash landed the heavy sharp heels onto my toes.Aaah..Instantly, I could feel warm blood sprouting around my toes. I thought, yo man yo ,I dont care and resumed with the activities. After some time, yo man yo didnt feel so cool about it. Toe was hurting. So went out of the room to inspect the poor mashed up toes & got it bandaged

Soon it was time for the most crucial event "dinner". Hogged the dinner & went on to collect the office T-shirts. So as usual, the unlucky me didn't get any small sized t-shirts. Only medium sizes were left, the small ones being grabbed by the early birds. I am just not destined to wear office logo t-shirts. So as usual, my t-shirts will be donated to my fathers collection. Hmmm..My father is getting real trendy these days with all the t-shirts :)

The toes got infected and after a long have healed now. But the poor toe nail still remains a deep bluish-purple. Guess I should get a purple nail polish & paint the remaining nails purple too. That would indeed be a smart way of living with it !!! yo gal yo !!!! :)

So it has been exactly 1 month since I shifted to a new accomodation. It is a comfy place 5 minutes away from my office & most importantly near to the so-called-happening place in Bangalore - The Forum .Apart from that, it is the most boring-to-death place you can ever find. I live in that hole all alone.

Before I shifted, I was convinced that I am going to die of loneliness there. How can I survive there ,after having lived in an ear splitting ,high decibel environment of Ladies Hostel.On the first day, I was experiencing a feeling of "suddenly single" .I was convinced I am going to turn into a human island...Three days later, I was relaxing in my room listening to Radio Mirchi and reading my favorite novels. Nobody to disturb the peace. I have the whole room to myself. I can throw my whole stuff around- books,clothes & still get away with it .I can listen to music & dance(secretly of course) all the way around in the privacy of my room.(ya..burning the dance floor)I can lie down in my bed , hearing the rhythm of music, stare at the star studded skies through the window & drift in my flyaway thoughts.This's quite blissful.

Two week later, I was tired of this routine. Suddenly,the silence is deafening.I crave for another human presence.Or should I think of getting married ?? heheee.. I took my cell phone & started calling my friends in the list. Afterwards,I felt slightly better. Within the next 3 days,I have exhausted my whole currency & decided I have had enough.

The whole scenario changed last weekend.Finally a new gal came to my room : a student & a friendly looking gal. Appearances can be deceptive, I warned myself. I was indeed ecstaic, but outwardly kept a straight face. She introduced herself as S . Then she looked at me slyly "Hope you wont be offended by my preferences. I wear minimal clothes". Interesting indeed!!!I refrained myself from commenting.

Some time went by peacefully.I went as usual to my FM world. Then she dropped the next bomb
S: "Do you think there are gals in this PG who flicks stuff??"
me: eh??? not that I know of....
S: I have 3 lakhs bucks with me !!!

I looked passive.Did I mishear?? Then she repeated proudly, "I have 3 lakhs bucks with me". My thoughts were racing. 3 lakhs with a student??hmmm..Finally,I concluded her father must be into smuggling. And why the hell is she telling all this to me. With a sinking feeling, I thought of the consequences lest she loses her bucks. As her sole roommate, all suspicions will be directed at me.I looked at her as if I am hearing the most natural thing in the world, "Better take care of your stuff"

I have been waiting for a roomy all this while & now a smuggler lady has sailed in. I mentally cursed all my karma for this . I decided to ignore her and go my own way before she tries to disclose more about her possessions to me. That night went rather peacefully, while she slept like an angel with the loud, blaring hiphop music ON on her tape recorder.Since I am the kind of gal who continues to sleep, even if a tsunami rages in & swallows up the whole Bangalore, it is not a matter of much thought.

Next morning, by the time I got up, she was all ready to go out. Before she sailed out of the room, she announced , "I just left my ipod nano in your cupboard. Hope you don't mind"
I screamed, "Whaaaaaaaaat??????" But she was already gone.Ayyyo...Now the burden of 3 lakhs ,an iPod & the antics of a minimally dressed devil is on me.

By the time I came back in the evening, she told, "Bad news for you"... My heart skipped many beats.My stomach made a somersault. Then to my utter relief, she muttered "I am leaving the place. I am moving in with a friend"

I simply love being alone. By the way, ever heard of cases where people die of claustrophobia ????

Going home has always been a much awaited occasion and coming back is indeed the most despised one. This is what happened to me 2 weeks back. I had to mentally prepare myself for a long tiresome journey ahead ; and coax & convince my stubborn mind of a “wonderful future” beckoning me from a not-so-far-away-land.

The big deal is not the long train journey. It infact can be quite interesting with the teaming crowd of people, booksellers, little kids singing & collecting what is their daily bread, vendors shrieking ”chai chai” . And if your fellow passengers are real specimens of character, you have all the more fun.

Now the real problem was , I reached my destination even before the sun god arose. It was pitch dark . Outside the station there are those autowallas, waiting there ,ready to pounce on their prey. I got into one auto. Travelling in auto alone through the half lit streets, even if it’s a so-called metropolitan city is great adventure. I looked at the autowalla. Now he really looks suspicious. His eyes looked disoriented, through the mirror & I mentally calculated he must be a drug addict. Though I never admitted, I’ve always had this “acute chronic suspicion syndrome” . All those forwarded emails depicting how people have been robbed , snatched , abused & murdered , surfaced my mind. Thanks to those well wisher friends who forwarded all these. Now my mind is total pandemonium of unfathomed doubts & fears. Wish I had obliged to my friend who once cajoled me to buy pepper spray. Mentally cursed my parents who never gave me training in martial arts for self defense.

Butterflies fluttered wildly in my stomach, till I reached my hostel. Now they always keep the big iron gates locked. I stood outside patiently , after buzzing the bell exactly once .Now if you ring more than once , the maid will turn wild & frenzy and decide to give you a piece of her mind via a verbal volley of unintelligible shouting in Tamil.

My patience is wearing off. The little doggie “Tommy” is apparently the only one happy to see me . It’s prancing & dancing around the grill whining. Now I can’t understand the over zeal & enthusiasm. Soon I heard a fierce growl & glanced back to see a pack of street dogs surrounding me, obviously attracted by the little devil inside. Now I clearly don’t mind Tommy having romantic indulgences. But I don’t entertain the idea of jeopardizing myself amidst a pack of wild street dogs, at the break of dawn.

I thanked my good luck, when the maid turned up with half closed eyes to open the gates. I rushed inside & Tommy taking it as a wonderful opportunity to freedom raced out like bullet. The maid shouted at me in bewilderment & anger. I, tired after the journey & all mental trauma hardly cared. I marched off, leaving the maid to tend to Tommy, who obviously thought it was some sort of ‘catch-me-if-you-can’ game……!!!!!

Last weekend I had planned to go shoe hunting. But all my buddies suddenly vanished during the weekend & I didn't want to go alone . It so happened, my last shoe hunting expedition turned out to be an utter failure...

In Bangalore, if you want to go shopping, you have 2 choices. One option is you can go to any shopping mall , those really happening places. If you are a shopping freak or a person with lot of black money looking forward to get rid of some, this is the perfect choice . Or if you are a real diplomat eager to display your negotiation (read bargaining)skills, you can go to those out stretched streets(not to mention those equally outstretched potholes)

Now I belong to the latter category minus the bargaining skills. Last time when we went shopping , we were strolling through the commercial street, window shopping. I think window shopping is a full fledged hobby & entertainment for majority of the Bangloreans. And Bangalore with its colourful streets brimming with youthful spirit & enthusiasm , doesn't disappoint its window shoppers. It was at that time when I saw those cream coloured sandals beckoning me from behind those gleaming glass panes. Now this platform heeled beauty really had me hooked .

So me and my buddies went inside the shop & asked for the price . Now this friendly faced guy gave a wicked smile and told "500/-" My dude was pinching on my arm & whispering the mantra "BARGAIN" . I thought this was a good opportunity to develop some useful skills . And instantaneously my great bargaining instincts uncovered itself " Do you really mean to say 500??? The quality of this stuff is surely not that worth.." blah blah !!! Finally I concluded, "250/- not a pie more ; not a pie less " . Now I really had it in my head that cutting down the price by half was an intelligent bargaining move :-)

Now a weird thing happened . This friendly faced guy is really nodding his head . This cant be happening . I cant believe this . Why did he agree so easily??? . He should at least have put up some fight . Stupid me . If I knew it, I would have told 150 !!!( this explains the fact that human beings are greedy by nature) .Once again , my intuitions have failed me .Now I am in dilemma : to buy or not to. Atlast I made up my mind & bought it . I was really proud of this shoe beauty.


One week passed by , and I was flaunting the sandals wherever I went .Then I noticed something peculiar . The pretty sandal has developed wrinkles on its creamy heels. Oh No.. And with each passing day, the grand platform heels shrank more & more .So did the no: of wrinkles . Though rather sad , I continued wearing it , until that tragic day, when suddenly the shoe straps without any prior warning gave away . To add to my embarrassment, I was on the way to my office & in the middle of road . And the rest became golden chapters in history as I started hopping towards my office.!!!!

"Monday morning"... It's one of the most miserable, lethargic & sullen of all mornings for me. My eyes just refuse to open & come out of the cozy comfort of the warm blankets. And a chilly wintry morning like today just add up to my misery. Now I always harboured this secret wish to be a rodent ,so that I can go on a long hibernation . It is at this point when I look around for my roomies for some sort of inspiration . And seeing them curled up in their beds , adds to my conviction that people shouldn't rise early morning & catch a horrible cold . Hah !!


Well, early mornings have never been one of my favorites ; not even during my student life. I always preferred to be the 'Ms. nocturnal', as I was lovingly referred as. When I was a kid , I used to enjoy late night as it presented a golden opportunity to escape parental scrutiny & to do all the naughty things . As an adolescent , it was always my unquenchable thirst to read suspense thrillers , that had me wide awake past midnight , & then later on to scream out in my dreams.

As I grew up & went to hostel , it's always, chatting into the night with my friends . The chats were filled with fun , laughter, sharing, inexhaustible jokes, criticizing teachers(we were really good at that), analyzing situations, killing & assassinating many characters & of course the gossips!!!! This recreation will continue late into the night till our warden come & start a long lecture .Then during exam times, it was impossible . I hardly used to sleep because everything was last minute work . I really believe if it were not for "that last minute" nothing will materialize in this world . So i'll be really burning , fuming & setting aflame the midnight oil and only sleep by 4 am . Then I'll be up by 7 . So to conclude , I rarely got to see the glory of rising sun or be a good girl and hear the "suprabatha" . Now I have started working .When I come back home, sometimes I'll drained out & will be waiting to hit the pillows . But I just cant sleep !!! The habit just sticks to me...

Now don't get me wrong. I have infact enjoyed the beauty of sunrise. This actually happened when I was 8 year old & my family went to Kanyakumari , which is the meeting point of 3 oceans viz, Arabian sea , Indian ocean & Bay of Bengal . Sunrise & sunset seen from the beach there are mesmerizing & really worth it.


In the morning I'll put my alarm half an hour early. So when it starts ringing, I'll wake up to snooze it, with the ecstatic realization that I can continue with my slumber. Then there are those good old weekend mornings, where you can blissfully be in the land of nod as long as you wish. Now I have this buddy , who gets a headache if she exceeds her 8 hour quota. O man!! she doesn't know what she is missing out But if it were not for the existence of the terrible Monday morning blues, my weekend mornings would not have been soooo desirable ...



Thus I finally succeeded in writing my first ever blog !!!!